...the moment i saw your cry...

... its gonna be love....

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 22:44:54 GMT

It's gonna be me baby
It's gonna be good baby

Time I have been patient for so long
How can I pretend to be so strong?
Who can I choose baby?
Feeling its true baby
If I?m asking you to hold me tight
then it?s gonna be all night

It?s gonna be Love
It?s gonna be great
It?s gonna be more then I can take
It?s gonna be free
It?s gonna be real
It?s gonna change everything I feel
It?s gonna be sad
It?s gonna be true
It?s gonna be me baby
It?s gonna be you baby
It?s gonna be...Its gonna be Love

Time can not rest our love to be fool
How can you pretend to be so cruel?
Maybe it?s me baby
Maybe it?s you baby
Maybe it?s everything we?ve been dreaming of
We waited long enough

Its gonna be Love
It?s gonna be great
It?s gonna be more then I can take
It?s gonna be free
It?s gonna be real
It?s gonna change everything I feel
It?s gonna be sad
It?s gonna be true
It?s gonna be your the one to do
It?s gonna be me baby
It?s gonna be you baby

The sooner you let two hearts beat
together
The sooner you know this love is forever

It?s gonna be love

Love needs time now or never

Its gonna be love
You really got to believe
it?s gonna be strong enough

Its gonna be Love
It?s gonna be great
It?s gonna be more then I can take
It?s gonna be free
It?s gonna be real
It?s gonna change everything I feel
It?s gonna be sad
It?s gonna be true
It?s gonna be your the one to do
It?s gonna be hard
It?s gonna be stuff
It?s gonna be more then just enough
It?s gonna be LOVE

It?s gonna be Love

It?s gonna be sad
It?s gonna be true
It?s gonna be me baby
It?s gonna be you baby

It?s gonna be me baby
It?s gonna be you

It?s gonna be real

It?s gonna be love

....i wanted to know you... and i wanted to make your everything....

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 08:02:40 GMT

so yeah...
life as i know it is going ok....
the other night i hung out with one of my best friends Milan....
(Milan is my best friend ever Sister)
I love her she is so funny and her new puppy disoddo... hes such a cutie!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I am also having one of the best summers ever....
i mean i hang out with my best friend mikelle like almost everyday!
i go to the mall alot!
and i am getting tan and in shape!
i hope to have mandy moores body with out the boobes by school beginings!
She is so hot!
I bought that jergens natural glow stuff... works ok....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

WEll i guess i should go and get to bed!
tty soon
love always,
courtney sailor

alright... okay... just wanted some water!....

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 22:15:32 GMT

alright mikelle okay...

List six (or more) of your current favorite songs, and tag six people to do this too.

1. Kelly CLarkson ... "Just missed the train" /or "Gone"
2. John Mayer ... "The Great Indoors"
3. Mariah Carey ... "Love Takes Time" /or "Someday"
4. Mae ... "Someone else's arms" /or "All deliberate speeds"
5. Jessica Simpson ... "With you" /or "I have loved you"
6. Mandy Moore ... "Cry" /or "Only hope"
7. Jimmy Eat World ... "Polaris" /or "hear you me"
8. Ashlee Simpson ... "Love makes the world go round"

"these aren't necessarily in the correct order but they'll do..."

this is the hard part... rgc(raakel)...ashley kochland...alyssa buck...adam mac...krystal...

...More To Life....

Thu, 26 May 2005 03:20:43 GMT

...I've got it all, but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
And why can't I let it go

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
Than wanting more

I've got the time and I'm wasting it slowly
Here in this moment I'm half way out the door
Onto the next thing, I'm searching for something that's missing

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more
I'm wanting more.....

I'm always waiting on something other than this
Why am I feelin' like there's something I missed.....

There's gotta be more to life...
Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more to life...

Than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me
Cause the more that I'm...
Tripping out thinking there must be more
Well it's life, but I'm sure... there's gotta be more to
life....

-stacie orrico

The Story of Beauty

Fri, 29 Apr 2005 02:10:46 GMT

Please dry your eyes, young girl
Don't cry, you're beautiful
It's not your fault, young girl
Don't cry, you're beautiful
You're not the one to blame
Soon it will be okay
One day you'll realize
Your beauty

It was a Saturday
It's colder to me
Inside this house there lived a frightened young girl
She didn't know what she should do
Cuz she missed her mother so
She was left home all alone with her step father

Please dry your eyes, young girl
Don't cry, you're beautiful
It's not your fault, young girl
Don't cry, you're beautiful
You're not the one to blame
Soon it will be okay
One day you'll realize
Your beauty

He touched her places
That he shouldn't have touched
He did some things to her
That he shouldn't have done
And she ran into her room
Paged her mother 9-1-1
And they tried to ?teepeed? in on
This young girl

She told her mother, her family, and friends
No one believed her cuz before this had been
She was filled with hate and anger
Towards her step father
Cuz he took her mother from her when they married

Please dry your eyes, young girl
Don't cry, you're beautiful
It's not your fault, young girl
Don't cry, you're beautiful
You're not the one to blame

...polaris....

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 23:09:41 GMT

"I'll say it straight and plain
I know I've made mistakes
I've always been afraid
I've always been afraid

A thousand nights or more
I travelled east and north
Please answer the door

Can you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

Get down on your knees
Whisper what I need
Something pretty
Something pretty

I feel that when I'm old
I'll look at you and know
The world was beautiful

Then you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

I'm done, there's nothing left to show
Try but I can't let go
Are you happy where you're standing still?
Do you really want the sugar pill?
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start
To another, it feels so hard
As a train approaches, gare du nord
As I'm sure your kiss remains employed
Am I only dreaming?

You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there
When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me

When you go, I'll let you be
But you're killing everything in me"
- jimmy eat world

phones are ringing...

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 04:19:43 GMT

With Lipstick On His Collar And A Trace Of Cheap Perfume
He Undresses In The Darkness And Eases Into Bed
With Her Face Turned To The Other Wall She Pretends To Be Asleep
But It Doesn't Really Matter 'cause There's Nothin' To Be Said

He Calls From Work To Tell Her He's Sorry About Last Night
If He Uses All The Right Words She'll Forgive Him Once Again
But The Phone Just Keeps On Ringin' And He Knows That Something's Wrong
He Feels His Heart Start Pounding And His Head Begins To Spin

Phones Are Ringin' All Over Town
North And South And East And West On Main Street Up And Down
He's Got Friends Of His Callin' Friends Of Hers
But She's Nowhere To Be Found
Phones Are Ringin' All Over Town

He Calls The Hospital Her Sister's House And The Place That Does Her Hair
God If Somthin' Ever Happened He'd Surely Lose His Mind
And He's Thinkin' It's Just Like She's Disappeared Into Thin Air
As American Flight 204 Departed Right On Time

Phones Are Ringin' All Over Town
North And South And East And West On Main Street Up And Down
He's Got Friends Of His Callin' Friends Of Hers
But She's Nowhere To Be Found
Phones Are Ringin' All Over Town

Well He Knows She'd Never Leave Him
She's Just Got To Be Around
Phones Are Ringin'
Phones Are Ringin'
Phones Are Ringin' All Over Town

Open Arms

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 05:32:13 GMT

Lying beside you here in the dark
Feeling your heart beat with mine
Softly you whisper
You're so sincere
How could our love be so blind

We sailed on together
We drifted apart
And here you are by my side

So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms

Living without you
Living alone
This empty house seems so cold
Wanting to hold you
Wanting you near
How much I wanted you home

But now that you've come back
Turned night into day
I need you to stay

So now I come to you with open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am with open arms
Hoping you'll see what your love means to me
Open arms
-courtney

..i got a right to be wrong i gotta sing my own song...

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 05:10:19 GMT

If you could just change one little choose in your life... would you?
-corks

look at what kinda kisser i am! ( i sware that's the picture they gave me!)

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 22:04:43 GMT

Take the quiz: "What Kinda Kiss R U?"

Playful Kiss
The playful kiss is about you having fun and not needing to have feelings for that person. You just go with the flow!

-corky tayler

Honestly tell me...

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 05:36:51 GMT

Okay so today was cool! last night i got to drive my new car! yay! i lov emy new car... i am so glad i got to go to jazz/mad over the weekend it was so fun! I really enjoyed the whole asspect of the trip! i am so glad we gave Mr. Thomas the superior awards he deserves to get! He is seriously the coolest teacher i have!while up there patrick kept telling me i was getting prettier and not just pretier but mikelle and raakel pretty it made me so happy! yay! I really loved the bus ride up and down although driving up kinda made my heart hurt when we started to get into the northern area more! It just reminded me of home and how beautiful it was... i wish that i could go to NAU it would be awesome i am seriously made for that weather! but whatever!

Mikelle- I know you know tat i love you dearly and i am so happy we are so close it makes me so happy to know i have a truly awesome friend like you... same person just one is in a gay mans body and the other is in a str8 girls body!

Raakel- I am so glad we are getting so close... i truly love you dearly and hope that i don't annoy you to much! i know i can be loud but its part of why you love me lol!

I am kinda said that jazz/mad is over... but that is just a look forward to tour thing! yeah but i guess i shall go!

- I hope that everyone is as excited as me for friday! yay! lol i am so gay!

p.s. I had a wonderful valentines day with 2 very beautiful valentines... Mikee and Rudolph....

I'm Vodka

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 23:26:41 GMT

Vodka

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

q- the laugh- and the hair toss

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 05:27:42 GMT

You're Grace Adler! You're quirky and energetic,
and you have soft spot for gay men. You're
ultra-creative and you have a funky, crazy
fashion sense.

Which Will and Grace Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well i am grace what can i say?
I love you all and wish you all the best of luck.....
with life...

..they're gone...

Thu, 09 Dec 2004 04:08:54 GMT

...well today mikelle and kelsey, left at lunch to go see jason mraz... i miss them so much, choir was so diferent without them... I feel like a big part of my life is taken away when they aren't here... so i have no freakin clue what i am gonna do next year with john and kelsey... graduating this year... I am gonna cry at graduation! sadness... especially cause they are both very big parts of my life... so yeah... i miss mikelle alot too... it's so diferent not having somebody calling me a freak everyday! lol i love it! ok well i got to go... ttyl..
-courtney

Happy Thanksgiving

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 07:25:24 GMT

Well today was so fun....I went to phx for thanksgiving to spend it with my mom's bf family... they are such fun people.. hilarious.... i called my aunts house to see how everybody in pennsylvanias turkey-day was going.... but it was sounding like so much fun! ...
Today i looked around at the table and relized that i have alot to be thanful for, but at the same time a lot that i wish i still ahd.. is that selfish of me? for the fact that i wished i had somebody to call my own? that somebody would call me there's and would hold me on these long cold lonely nights! i really miss men... but i serioulsy have been not interested in any lately... i think if don't meet someone soon i might just become A-sexual... and i don't want that... well i just wanted to say....
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE...LUV YA ALL...
courtney<333

...this is your life are you who you wanna be....

Sun, 21 Nov 2004 07:46:12 GMT

...yesterday is wrinkle on your forhead...yesterday is a promise that you've broken...don't close your eyes...don't close your eyes...this is your life, and today is all you got now...and today is all you'll ever have... don't close your eyes...don't close your eyes...this is your life...are you who you wanna be?...this is your life...are you who you wanna be?...this is your life...is it everthing you dreamed that it would be...when the world was younger and you had everything to lose...("This is your Life". Switchfoot..."The Beautiful Letdown").***********
*Sometimes I wonder if I am just settling for this life, and maybe there is one out there ment for me to live but I never will meet that potential to fulfill it! I sometimes feel that everyday life is a battle especailly for me... between grades, friends, work,...etc...I know that everyone has problems and that I am not the only one who feels this way. But seriously sometimes I feel as though I am stand right next to a group of people screaming for them to hear me, but they all just keep talking to eachother! Then other times I feel as though everyone is looking to me for answers, but I don't know what to tell them because I have truly never experienced there lives enough to give them the advice they can use...Lately I have been so focused on teh future I seriously might forget the past, which might not be a bad thing! Seeing as it's only full of broken hearted attempts to love and be loved... I am really scared and excited to see how my life turms out, but also i am really saddened to know that 80% of the people i hold so close to me now i will eventually just lose and only see in my memories...I am scared of the fact that I am a Junior in High School and all I can say I have done with my life is sit back and hit cruse-control, instead I wish I might have taken the wheel and hit the gas pedal too the floor and done those things I now wished I had...
* I am really scared that the more love I get for music and singing and dancing...the more my talent falls...
><><>< I always feel myself striving for more and getting less...truth be told I am trying my best,but somewhere along the way i got caught up in all there was to offer><><><
*** Lately I seriously have been wanting a boyfriend! And I mean not just some guy to make-out with and do all that stuff with but I mean someone I feel a really connection with! I want someone to lay around with and have deep conversations with about anything and everything... someone to sneak through my window late at night just to hold me and, all that I will be able to think of while laying there in his arms is how safe and protected I feel. But that may never happen so only in dreams will I feel that!***
----- Well now that I have let all that out of my head and heart..I can go ly on my bed an think about it some more-----
...Mikelle, thanks for always putting up with me even when I secretly know you don't always neccessarily want to..you are always there for me anytime i might need to talk, and you always care for me with a sincer and caring heartand that truly is going to take you places to were i will never go...thats why I truly do love you to death...
...John, thanks for being one of my very good guy friends, I love you for the fact that you see me and not for my sexualIty, and you have no homophobic fear in you, when we hang out about the fact that i might hit on you, because you know I wouldn't...
...Ashley,daddy what can i say to you... besides that you are truly an inspiration to me and I am so happy to have you in my life I really don't knwo what I did before I met you...I Love you and always will...
...Kelsey,thanks for truly always caring and watching out for me, I love the fact that you can confied in me and you know that i would never tell a soul! I hope when you are so famous that even the clouds aren't high enough for your star power... don't ever forget me...I Love you so much and nobody will ever be able to change that fact!
...Raakel, my lil'Slurrpy Queen! I love that fact that you are always the sweetest thing with two legs! lol I hope you get everything you hope for in life and I so am truly glad you and I have become such good friends...I love you...
********Mikelle,Ashley,Kelsey,Raakel,and John... I truly wish you all the best of luck in everything you do, I hope you get everything you hope and dream for, I am so glad that you all are my truly best of friends and the fact that you all put up with my gay ass makes me so happy i could cry sometimes! All of ya'll remember, that anytime you feel that there is nobody around and nobody else to talk to I am only a phone call away...I hope i wouldn't be the last person on the list, but if so at least I am on the list! I love you all truly and deeply you all have a peace of my heart so please, please don't use it as a bouncy ball... it is a precious part of me...Okay well ttyl!

Courtney<33333

Hello....

Wed, 17 Nov 2004 04:15:24 GMT

HEllo... who are you?... get away... i don't like what you say...lol omg i love that movie....so yes i would just have to say today was one of the most akward days of my life but i'll get over it.... lol i accident'y took mikelles keys today... so i had to take them back to her... lol she is so cute... but anyways... so yes, i am having a really fun time at school lately i feel really popular for some reason lately... could it be could i be the new queen b? i was a the new leader of the plastics? lol ok well i am gonna go before i start to resist l;ines from mystic pizza!.... ok well a shout out to my peeps.... Mikelle, John, Ashley, Kelsey, etc....ok peace...

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 04:05:59 GMT

omg can you believe JOHN SHARTZER.... okay hahaha well i told him i would right about him in this so here goes... so yes the other night i had a dream that john killed me because i am gay... then he laughes about it when i told him and.... he always makes fun of the way i saw some words like "ranch" and "virgina" but whatever.... i love john so i just let it slide.... hes got to be one of the coolest guys i know and i appriciate our friendship so much... Almost as much as i appriciate mine and mikelle's i love her.... i am going to winter ball with her... yay fun times for the "will and grace" couple... unless she finds someone hotter to go with... lol but whatever...so yes i just thought i would say a few words and leave peace guys!

I'm loving angels instead....

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 06:09:42 GMT

Ok so i am sitting here listening to this awesome song.... it's called "Angels" by jessica simpson.... and I just know that I may never get to experience the things she talks about in the song... well maybe it's because i am fat and ugly... and I'm too gay or something you know i do know that i did have a relationship like that but i f***ed that up exactly one year ago from today! ... And tonight i was at applebees with mikelle and logan and the rest of our choralaires.... and i was just sitting across form them watching how that were with eachother... and logan has this love for mikelle that just makes me so happy for mikelle... and i am extrememly glad that she found someone that will love her till the end... but i guess i just have to wait to see if i will ever get a man like that! :( "...I'm lovein angels instead...And through it all, he offers me protection, alot of love and affection, wiether i am right or wrong... and i don't want to fall, where ever it may take , i know that life won't brake me , well i can recall, he won't forsack me, i'm lovein angels in sted..." or they go something like that.... ok well i would just like to say to a few friends...my best girlfriends I love ya'll and thanks for everything..if it wasn't for ya'll i wouldn't have anything to get up for...
Mikelle...I love you so much and will until i die... thank you...
Kelsey...My Karen, you know that you are the only one who can truly only ever fill those shoes.. and i am so glad it's you!
Raakel...So beautiful, you have to be one of my sweetest friends ever...
Ashley...You are so cute... my grace,remember i got your back at all times ok!
love you all... courtney...xoxo...

...Monday....Monday...Monday...

Tue, 21 Sep 2004 05:00:51 GMT

Well .... i don't know about you guys but i love monday's... i just love to see how everyone's weekends were and tell them about mine.... i love to connect with people on a deeper leave then just curtiousy friends i like to actually sit down and have a conversation with them.... it makes for a better aray of friends!
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><
So today i wore my new shoes to school and as soon as i walked on campus i remembered that John Shartzer has the same exact pair.... But its whatever cause he's like one of the coolest guy's i know and yeah... And then as the day progressed it got really slow and boring so i was all like blah! but then lunch came and i lvoe lunch it's just like extra time to socialize with friends! Then 5th period turned into 6th and i was really happy, but one thing that really bugged me today is my solo for ain't no mountian high enough.... i have to sing it down in a ow key i can barely reach ... and it really frustrates me cause when i auditioned for the solo i did it up in the high tenor key... and i sang it fine.. but for some reason i can't now so whatever! Then we had an after-school rehearsal which was really cool but ... lots of stuff to do... but we watched some drama skits which were so funny! hahahah hilarious! Then after that my mom and i went to wal-mart, walgreens, and big lots to get some essential needs! then came home and i started laundry but hey i have to go finish it so i shall go for now...
love me...

My first Post.....

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 04:19:54 GMT

Well i would just like to say and that this is my first post so comment-ers be nice! please! Well i had an ok day today... kinda slow, but i was just really tired so that could be why! lol well anyways! Ok so my friend Mikelle came to pick me up for school, and i would just like to say how much i truely love her, she has got to be the prett-hott-beautful-iest girl ever! Then we went to school and did or normal school day things! Went to honor choir and actually said "Hiz-ouse" so of course, John had to "rip" me! lol But i don't think he would have got me if Kelsey (my karen walker) never told him too but it's ok i love them both! Then after like 3-5 period we had Choralaires, i love that class, and we danced to " Ain't No Mountian High Enough" and i dance with Raakel another very pretty girl ( she's the dark lindsay lohan!), we have so much fun in that class... it makes me happy in that class...But then i got home, and feel asleep during Ellen, and woke up to my mom yelling about my dad and his court ordering us to come in there about visitation! Dumb shit so now i won't be able to ummm get my car in november.. damn it! but whatever well i have to get going! soo bye!
love always...
-courtney